who's not got it easy these days. She's started an apprenticeship on a farm to become an agriculturist and is having some trouble adjusting to it all.

She's so much like me, I am 31 and still don't know what the hell I want to be when I grow up. Nothing's ever right, there's always something going on in my head that I want to do this and that and the other. I wanted to be an interpreter, a vet, a dancer, a politician, a doctor, a secret agent. The last one's still an option.

I was never 100% happy no matter where I was, be it Jena, Berlin, Chile, Ireland, what have you.
I know what she feels like, but Susie, if you ever happen to stumble across these lines, it all passes, and everything's gonna be alright.

I feel incredibly sad for my family sometime. For my mom, because she is drifting between two homes, and does not really feel at home anywhere either. For my Dad who is sick of Germany and wants to move to his farm in Hungary, but I am not sure if tha's going to be a solution. And for my sister, who just does not want to grow up, and I don't blame her. I wish we could be little again, Susie, when things at least had the appearance of being ok, and we simply didn't know what we know now, when we could still be surprised by new discoveries. I am certainly old enough to have my own family, but I still feel like a child myself.

What more can I say...there's not even a program on that could cheer me up tonight. The only thing that could would be "TV TOTAL". I do miss German telly sometimes.

Good Night.